things they don't tell you when you get engaged

according to the various wedding movies i have seen over the years, being engaged is synonymous with joyfully frolicking through a field of daises in my favorite pale pink sundress. reality - on contraire. so for those of you who are engaged, may be getting engaged soon or someday hope to be engaged, i have complied a list of things you might want to keep in mind that the movies do NOT clue you in to.

1. your fiance may want his groomsmen to wear tails instead of regular tuxedos, even though you are NOT having a black tie affair. boys do not understand the rules of dress...that his uncle joe from the back country of ohio is planning on wearing cargo khakis and a polo may feel a bit out of place if everyone else is in black tie.

2. your grandmother, though she already planned your mother's wedding, may still want a say in most of the decisions you make. if you don't let her have a say, she will still state her opinion: that choosing black and ivory as your colors will look like a funeral processional walking down the aisle.

3. random people you have not seen in the last decade will offer their congratulations (or best wishes) followed directly by a request for an invitation. this could be done in person or via facebook. both are equally awkward.

4. no matter how big of a wedding you are planning, the guest list is the hardest part to plan. they are always more people you want to invite, always more distant relatives or friends of your parents that you have never met, but somehow people expect you to invite. brace yourself. the guest list is difficult.

5. your fiance may believe that by registering for items, he is expected to buy you anything that is not purchased after the wedding. thus, he may encourage you to NOT register for the kitchen aide you have always wanted because he does not want to buy it if no one else does. you may have to have multiple conversations with him.

6. when your brother's girlfriend drags your brother to the bridal shoppe you are looking at wedding dresses at with your mom and grandmother, your grandmother may loudly exclaim how inappropriate it is for a boy to be looking at the wedding dress. other people may turn and look at the posse you have brought with you to go wedding dress shopping and give you the look.

7. after already shown your future in-laws your ideas for rehearsal dinner sites, as well as the church and reception, your future-father-in-law may want to go back and take a picture of every possible location you might have the rehearsal dinner. your own father may be expected to chauffeur him around the city. this can take up to 3 hours.

8. your grandmother may buy you a christopher radko wedding cake ornament and stand that she wants you to proudly display in your home through the wedding day. though it does not fit with the decor of your living room, she will insist that your roommates will love it, and that it goes with everything.

9. not all invitations come pre-assembled. just be ready that you may have to assemble invitations yourself. this saves money, which is good, but takes extra time. be sure to plan in advance, assemble a team of workers, get a bottle of wine, whatever it takes.

10. if you don't register early, you may end up getting some gifts that you did not know you needed. this can include a 3-foot-long wicker picnic basket

11. your grandmother may dictate what others can buy you after you have registered. stating that after clearing out an entire section of your registry, you will ONLY think of her when you look at those items, and she doesn't want anyone else to purchase any item from that section.

12. your fiance may disregard that the one thing you said you do NOT want to do on your honeymoon: go to a sandals resort. he may continue to attempt to persuade you that you do in fact want to go to a sandals. that even though you think they are cheesy, they are on the water, all inclusive, and the best deal. good luck.

13. your florist/wedding cake woman/manager at the reception will all have different opinions on what your wedding should look like. even if all three know each other and work with each other, you will have to act as a liaison between them. again, good luck.

14. after receiving their invitations, some guests may call other guests stating that the invitation was "nice, but not what i would have done."


seriously, why don't they tell you this stuff the cheesy romantic comedies? :)


*disclaimer: the grandmother comments are only applicable if your grandmother is emily gilmore. i love my nana dearly and she makes me smile everyday. i wouldn't trade her for the world.